Cracking Open

Some days I feel sad for no reason. It’s almost as if the bittersweet, poignancy of life is just too much to bear. Just as everyone said would happen, the older I get, the faster time moves. My children are growing up so quickly. No longer little babies, or toddlers clinging to my side, I practice letting them go a little bit more each day. The lines in my face continue to deepen, I suddenly find myself needing reading glasses and my friends and I joke about all the things that we never thought would happen to us, happening as we lean into middle age.

Sometimes it seems like all I can do to just hold on tight and ride out this crazy storm of life.

It is so bizarre to go about my day knowing that at any given moment there is an incredible amount of suffering on this planet. Paradoxically, there is also an immense amount of beauty and immeasurable joy.

When I open to these two extremes simultaneously, my heart feels as if it is getting cracked wide open. There is a palpable tenderness that is magnified as it stretches further than what I could have imagined possible.

Often I have to just stop where I am and take a deep breath. 
It is not easy to consciously rest in the heart of the paradox, but that is the yoga.  

Kirsten Warner